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Single Mom Confession

July 25, 2011

It’s been one of those days.

You know what I’m talking about.

Where everything bad or frustrating that happens is because you are single, and you only have one income, and you hate being single, and if you weren’t single everything would be perfect.

Yeah. One of those days.

Some days being single bothers me much more than others.

Some days it doesn’t bother me at all.

Some days I love it!

Today, though, is not one of those days.

I refuse to believe that I’m the only single parent who ever feels this way. I do feel like I’m the only one I know who ever expresses it, though. All the single parents I know go on and on about lucky they are and how they don’t mind that their lives revolve completely around their children every moment of every day and even if they never meet someone to spend the rest of their lives with they’ll be okay.

Here’s the truth of it, (and I can’t say I’m completely proud of every one of these feelings but they’re mine and they’re real):

Sometimes, I am so lonely it makes it hard to breathe.

Sometimes, I wish there was another adult in this household that contributed to the total income.

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to know anything about any of my bills. That they would be paid on time, by the other adult I wish existed here.

Sometimes, I resent not being able to buy something for myself because I have to buy something of necessity for my child.

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to be the responsible side of the single parent equation.

Sometimes, I wish I could forgive myself for wishing that my ex-husband would just drop dead.

Sometimes, I believe that I will end up being single forever because only a terrible person could think the things I just put into words.

The truth of it is, though, that these days happen to everyone. You may not want to admit that you are lonely, or hate being single, or that it’s just freakin’ hard and sometimes you just don’t want to play anymore.

But you’re not alone.

It’s ok to feel your feelings. Being frustrated with being single doesn’t mean you love your child(ren) any less. It doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve your goals. It doesn’t mean that you’re any less of a person.

It just means that today you need to take a little extra time for yourself so that tomorrow you can get back to being the amazing parent that you are.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. September 9, 2011 12:06 pm

    Thanks for being so honest in sharing your heart! I am a single parent as well, well, been going through a divorce for over a year now, but responsibilty-wise and financially I am definitely a single parent, lol, and I can definitely relate to the feelings you mentioned. You can purpose in your heart to forgive someone, etc, and still it can be a struggle. I read a book, oh, it had to be almost a year ago, called My Single Mom Life and WOW. It’s the only book I can say (besides the Bible, lol) that was deserving of the description “life-changing!” It was amazing. She hit EVERY topic, the hurt, the pain, the unforgiveness, how to balance putting your children first without neglecting yourself, dating, etc. It’s by Angela Thomas. It was so helpful to me that I ordered a whole box of them to give away to other single moms I knew or would come across in the future. lol! Anyway, know that there is hope, for us and our children! I just posted a thing dealing with my personal experience of the “lonely” aspect of things if you are interested. Take care!

    • September 13, 2011 8:38 pm

      Thanks so much for the reading suggestion! I’ll definitely check it out. And thanks for stopping by my blog, I’ve actually moved to a new home at http:singlemomology.com because writing about finances just hasn’t been doing it for me. It warms my heart to hear that there are other single moms out there who do know what I feel.

  2. Eileen permalink
    July 25, 2011 7:50 pm

    Amen sister! I hear you. I’m in the same boat. And, you’re right, the feeling will pass and it wil get better. But you nailed it. Thanks for showing me I’m not totally alone in how I feel!

    • July 27, 2011 6:01 pm

      I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels like this! Thanks for reading, I hope you come back!

  3. July 25, 2011 7:26 pm

    Like. (Sorry, I didn’t see the like button) 🙂

    • July 27, 2011 6:02 pm

      Thanks for the ‘like’! I need to make sure I that button on there next time!

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